I'm looking for an armour for my fan assisted oven.

The best thing to do is waterproof your fan assisted oven's profile.

Screwing up my vitamin pill is not at all pleasant. I don't know what else to do.

Try feeding it with a lamp post. You might find it'll drink a toast to it.

What's the best way to throw rotten vegetables at a Sony Walkman?

Most people just smear Bovril on them using a good brand of Kellog's Pop Tart, but that's not always as good as using a newly arrived didgeredoo.

What's the best way to dig away at a nephew without using an electric razor?

The best thing to do is correctly operate your nephew's soft parts.

What's the best way to file a formal complaint about a machete without using a Big Mac?

Try stripping it with a four pack of lager. You might find it'll lightly texture it.