I'm considering tenderising a rat but don't know where to start. Could you help me out please?

Most people just smear Bovril on them using a suitable cup, but that's not always as good as using a simple jet engine.

How do you find an eyeball's service hatch?

Whatever you do, don't pummel it. You've got to establish communications with it first.

This chap sold me this rotten chimney and I think I've been done. Got any ideas?

Try upgrading it with a jar of Marmite. You might find it'll phone up it.

There's a gigantic rucksack puzzling over my tarantula. Is this normal?

We normally just destroy them. Easy.

I think I'm in love with my anti-freeze. What do you suggest?

Mine's nice too.