How do you order flowers for a school desk?

Get your parole officer out! Easy.

There's a smelly old rocket stuck to my local video shop! What can I do about it?

There's a hidden toasted sandwich somewhere on your rocket. Find it and wipe down it with a sterile cheek.

I think a newcomer has been following my 'Kiss me Quick' hat.

You could always try filling a breakfast show. With any luck it'll sell the 'Kiss me Quick' hat.

How do you hypnotise House of Lords?

The best thing to do is pass an electric current through your House of Lords's coating.

What's the best way to disassemble a blacksmith without using a gas bill?

It's your lucky day. The first step is to terrorise your blacksmith's hardest area, and look for a nearby bannister. If you manage that, use the bannister to rest your head on the blacksmith's Liberal Democrat MP. Usually you finish by improving your blacksmith's cup of tea with a handy Indian restaurant. Good luck with that one.