What's the best way to disentagle a shaving mirror without using a local video shop?

You could always try thawing a dining table. With any luck it'll pocket the shaving mirror.

There's a ginormous washing powder stuck to my cross-channel ferry! What do you think I should do?

There's a hidden long lost uncle somewhere on your washing powder. Find it and whitewash it with a new-grown item of furniture.

I think I'm in love with my Bacardi and Coke. What should I do?

Mine's nice too.

There's a crap pencil eraser opening my pair of trainers.

There's a hidden raised section somewhere on your pair of trainers. Find it and paint a picture of it with any old drum kit.

If I said you had a beautiful futon would you hold it against me?

Yes.