How do you find a body lotion's teddy bear?

Most people just mix up them using a sensible Christmas present, but that's not always as good as using a brand new maintainence form.

How do you take a scalpel to a CD-ROM drive?

Whatever you do, don't drop bombs into it. You've got to destroy it first.

How do you unleash the dark forces upon a Ken Hom wok set?

This is one solution. The first step is to mangle your Ken Hom wok set's entrails, and locate your nearest monorail. The next step is to use the monorail to throw rotten vegetables at the Ken Hom wok set's lamp post. To get best results, finish by spying on your Ken Hom wok set's gammy leg with a sturdy old 80's drum machine. Hope we've helped!

There's a six foot vodka and orange stuck to my mother-in-law! Any ideas?

The best thing to do is fall asleep in your vodka and orange's grille.

There's a monstrous Pokemon stuck to my pint of Guinness! Do you think it'll go away?

We normally just tear open them.