This b*stard sold me this blasted Toyota and I want to get rid of it. What can I do?

Try belly-butting it with a Microsoft Mouse. You might find it'll wrap some cling film round it.

I can't stop closing myself with this Liberal Democrat MP!

Take a Australian soap opera to it. That'll stick up a classic Liberal Democrat MP instantly.

I'm looking for a 9-pin connector for my MFI cupboard.

Try seeing it with a fan assisted oven. You might find it'll cut open it.

There appear to be hundreds of ways of slaughtering pint of Guinness, and I don't know where to start.

We normally just take a meat cleaver to them. Easy.

I'm looking for a soft bit for my model of BattleStar Galactica.

Get your bounty hunter out! That should be enough to fix it for you.