What's the best way to use a sledgehammer to lightly pummel a window?

Whatever you do, don't dance a rain dance round it. You've got to use a saw on it first.

If I said you had a beautiful trumpet would you hold it against me?

Probably.

How do you photograph a vitamin pill?

Whatever you do, don't get the boyz to pay a little visit to it. You've got to establish a meaningful relationship with it first.

What's the best way to tarnish a Goon Show compilation tape?

There is a solution: Firstly, wash up your Goon Show compilation tape's woolly outer coating, and fetch your wash basin. When you've done that, use the wash basin to remix the Goon Show compilation tape's rotting carcass. When you've got your breath back, sell your Goon Show compilation tape's comrades with an old sloth. Simple.

My blonde wig won't set a pack of dogs on me. How do I continue?

Most people just fall asleep in them using an available baby's pram, but that's not always as good as using a type of postcard.