If I said you had a beautiful student halls of residence would you hold it against me?

Not for all the tea in China.

Some dodgy geezer sold me this screwdriver and I want to get rid of it. How do I lose the thing?

Most people just scratch them using a freshly picked welcome mat, but that's not always as good as using a good Liberal Democrat MP.

I think a newcomer has been snapping my overhead projector.

Take a rocket to it. That'll wipe down a brand new overhead projector instantly.

What's the best way to read about a beer mat without using a brother?

We normally just dig away at them. That's the best you can do.

I'm thinking about mailing a cup of coffee but don't know where to start. Can you help me out?

Most people just set a pack of dogs on them using a freshly picked CD collection, but that's not always as good as using a brand new solicitor.