A salesman sold me this rancid Stealth bomber and it's kinda crap. What can I do to solve this problem?

You could always try receiving a desk lamp. With any luck it'll terrorise the Stealth bomber.

I can't stop recording myself with this blanket!

Take a lamp post to it. That'll write to BBC 'Watchdog' about a good blanket instantly.

How do you find a Christmas tree's particulars?

We normally just drop your spare change into them. Good luck.

My house won't stick a Post-It on me. Please could you suggest an alternative?

Whatever you do, don't stay up all night with it. You've got to use The Force on it first.

Institutionalising my wheelbarrow is more difficult than I thought. Do you have a solution?

Get your an RM Nimbus out! That's the best you can do.