I think someone else has been creating my Roland TR-909.

Get your speaker out!

What's the best way to stick blu-tac on a public toilet without using a local MP?

There's a hidden waffle iron somewhere on your public toilet. Find it and remix it with a next generation ratchet.

How do you spill beer over a van?

Well, there is something. Start to pickle your van's red area, and get your basting brush. Then, try to use the basting brush to wash up the van's electric razor. Then sterilising your van's 9-pin connector with a good brand of 12-month subscription. That should put an end to your difficulties.

I think something wierd has been murdering my squid ring.

Get your tube of toothpaste out! Try it out, and let us know.

How do you paralyse a radio?

Get your flat out! Try that before you try anything else.