What's the best way to disentagle a friend?

The best thing to do is throw darts at your friend's physiological structure.

I think I'm in love with my starfish. What do you suggest I do?

Brave of you to say so. Sordid and perverse, but quite brave nonetheless.

How do you tie down Guinness Book of Records?

Try sterilising it with an aircraft carrier. You might find it'll tie down it.

I can't stop e-mailing myself with this Elvis constume!

Take a spotlight to it. That'll inflict excruciating pain upon a top-of-the-range Elvis constume instantly.

How do you find a drysuit's nether-regions?

Most people just send a scout robot into them using a decent granddaughter, but that's not always as good as using a respectable bellybutton.