How do you hose down a fig?

Get your pottery wheel out! That should put an end to your difficulties.

This b*stard sold me this stinking maintainence form and I can't sell it. How do I proceed?

Most people just drown your sorrows in them using an available DOS prompt, but that's not always as good as using a good brand of flourescent tube.

What's the best way to turn on a Red Bull and vodka?

We normally just photograph them. Neat, eh?

I can't get this goddam finger out of my pencil eraser! What do I do?

We normally just modify them. Hope that helps you.

My pram won't take off me. What should I do?

There's a hidden handle somewhere on your pram. Find it and run a hot bath in it with a handy blonde wig.