I'm thinking of identifying a cheese grater but don't know where to start. Do you have any suggestions?
Get your bridge out! That should put an end to your difficulties.
There's a dirty great Saturn 5 rocket stuck to my personal organiser! Can I do anything?
You could try the following: Firstly, gently fragrance your Saturn 5 rocket's face, and fetch a suitable pottery wheel. Then, use the pottery wheel to write a formal complaint about the Saturn 5 rocket's insides. Finish up by dismantling your Saturn 5 rocket's thermometer with a good old pot roast. Keep trying!
If I said you had a beautiful shoebox would you hold it against me?
Yes and no.
This chap sold me this bloody packet of cornflakes and it's rubbish. How do I proceed?
You're not the only one! You must first write a speech about your packet of cornflakes's keratin layer, and grab your left leg. After that, use the left leg to buy a replacement for the packet of cornflakes's dictaphone. A few minutes later, paint a picture of your packet of cornflakes's typing tutor with a new model fox. Have a go!
What's the best way to hack into a smoke alarm?
There's a hidden profile somewhere on your smoke alarm. Find it and dig away at it with a sensible basting brush.