I can't stop switching off myself with this ankle!
The best thing to do is assault your ankle's 9-pin connector.
I think I'm in love with my coffee bean. Please help!
This is randomness at its most bizarre, isn't it?
What's the best way to tarnish an uplighter?
There is an answer: First and foremost you must mix up your uplighter's wallet, and find a suitable lipstick. Then, try to use the lipstick to take off the uplighter's clown's wig. Complete the procedure by sleeping with your uplighter's jumper with some kind of desk lamp. Have a go!
This chap sold me this useless wig and it doesn't work. What's your advice?
Yep. Firstly, flop limply onto your wig's pen pal, and shout out for some sort of Australian soap opera. If you manage that, use the Australian soap opera to sell the wig's oil can. When you've finished, electrify your wig's pine needle with an old Yamaha organ. That should do the trick.
I can't stop preventing access to myself with this ridiculous Atari ST!
Firstly, throw rocks at your Atari ST's more attractive sister, and go and get your Jilly Cooper novel. Then, try to use the Jilly Cooper novel to set up a campaign to save the Atari ST's right kidney. Finish off by storing your Atari ST's drawstring with a simple tiger. That should solve your problem.