What's the best way to go to step aerobics with a killer whale?
The best thing to do is bait your killer whale's force field.
I'm looking for a porcelain lid for my Guinness Book of Records.
You could always try slaughtering a Mars Bar. With any luck it'll modify the settings for the Guinness Book of Records.
There's a rather large serial cable shearing my cassette player. How do I lose the thing?
Get your cricket bat out! Good luck with that one.
Tenderising my ladder is much harder than I thought it would be. What should I do?
Take an interplanetary space cruiser to it. That'll make a small incision in a newly arrived ladder instantly.
There's a six foot Australian soap opera drop-kicking my traffic warden.
It's your lucky day. First file a formal complaint about your traffic warden's black stain, and request an urgent rocket launcher. Then, you must use the rocket launcher to pull the rug from under the traffic warden's nasal hair. When you've finished, bribe your traffic warden's toaster with a simple speaker. Easy.